There are any number of folks out there today who play turkey basters with varying degrees of proficiency. The basic technique is to grab a bulb tube baster from the kitchen and then put some fluid inside so that the air column and the fluid column vary when the bulb is squeezed. All the while they need to keep air flowing across the opening. Whether or not they belong in the Dorkfest Archives is purely subjective. It also varies by the day and the phase of the moon. In order to escape this phenomenon of subjectivity I have decided to give them a break and evaluate them on a few OBJECTIVE points. I have NEVER extended this courtesy to other Dorkfest winners so the Baster Players should feel honored in some small way I suppose.
Objective Point #1 – Many of these folks actually play in proper time and intonation.
Objective Point #2 – They do need to develop an embouchure and technique in much the same way flute players do. Objective Point #3 – Certainly, what they do should be regarded as music. Objective Point #4 – They are playing a TURKEY BASTER for cryin-to-Pete’s-sake! If that “instrument” isn’t full of tequila then I say,”Welcome to the Dorkfest Bucko!”
Note to readers – I didn’t pick this poor wag in the video for any particular reason other than he seems to be rather representative of the Turkey Baster ilk. Just a lousy luck of the draw for him I guess. Before you feel sorry for him I want to remind you that he IS playing a Turkey Baster.
Between last night and this morning I was able to finish the landfill job I started in the studio two weeks back. I can once again move freely about the tiny room and actually string cable without fear of mortal entanglement. (I hear that’s a dreadful way to go.) The outside air is hot and steamy again today so I am working in the lower levels of the house. If this continues I am seriously going to have to buy an old mine shaft to which I can escape. I am currently playing with something I picked up for a song (No pun.) a month and a half ago. It is only now that I have found time to horse around with it a bit. It looks like this…..
They only cost $20 and actually work. I am driving the bejesus out of it and then mic’ing it through the big stuff I have laying around. Sounds a bit like the original version of Layla; aka The Real Version.
Today has been brutal as far as the ambient temperature is concerned. Those of us fortunate enough to live in the U.P. by Lake Superior are not conditioned to this harsh treatment from Mother Nature. We suffer dearly on days like this and remember why we don’t actually travel to Florida, Arizona, or like latitudes. I stayed in the basement doing paperwork or in front of the fan playing concertina for the entire day. Tomorrow is supposed to treat us similarly. Normally I wouldn’t pee away an entire day to concertina but it was the smallest instrument in the Morehouse Arsenal and gave me the best exposure to the fan. An interesting thought…… Why is it that the volume on an electric fan only goes as high as “3″ when the volume on an amplifier goes all the way to “10″? Wouldn’t the reverse situation be more useful to most of the population?
Naturally those persons (Like me!) who own Telecasters shouldn’t be included in any type of fact-finding survey on the subject. They are constantly trying to set their amps to “11″ or even “12″ when under the influence.
If you can’t make the connection between the picture and the topic for this post then I pity your puny Transformer knowledge base. Send me a PM or an email and I will happily clue you in.
Yeah….Me and my 102 degree fever made it through the wedding just fine. I went home and immediately went to bed and started sweating it out. Today I feel tired but much better and think I am over the worst of it. Oh, and the five days of dizziness seems to be gone also. Tonight I am even going to play a bit of violin and concertina. Hooray and huzzah for me….
Yeah, I’ve been down sick with a porcupine in my throat all week. This afternoon I was supposed to play the Busking Barn at the PorkieFest at 3:00. Fortunately they were able to find a stand-in after I called in sick last night. I still feel rotten to have missed what would have been a great time. Tomorrow I have to play a wedding. It is only three songs so I will need to bark them out in a fashion that is conducive to the act of marriage. It may sound like a Scottish dogfight (My apologies to Mr. Vic…) but I will do my best to send the loving couple off into married life without too much audio trauma. They are great friends of the family so I am certain they will understand….still, I would like to be able to do my best for them and that doesn’t seem likely at the moment.
This morning we picked blackberries (Again!) and pressed them. We got 16 1/2 cups of pure juice (No water added.) and will be making jelly this afternoon. In the meantime I am trying to convert the landfill down in the basement back into a studio. I have let it go too long while my nose has been buried in other projects. Then it is off to Houghton to buy guitar strings and make a general nuisance of myself at the music store.
A special thanks to those of you that emailed me with congrats regarding the Mauritius royalties. Blood may be thicker than water but it isn’t nearly as responsive. Thanks again… it meant a lot to me as I passed one of the milestones I set for myself back in 1988.
I got my usual quarterly report from ASCAP today and almost peed my pants. Someone in the island nation of Mauritius either recorded or used “Tom’s Farewell”. “Tom’s Farewell” was written by me back in the late 80’s or early 90’s and was included as part of the “Acoustic News” album/cd. (ASCAP 1994) It is available on itunes and cdbaby and my websites and has sold sporadically as a single. Imagine my surprise when I received International royalties for the song from the MASA songwriters’ royalty organization of Mauritius! I actually had to look it up on the webs to see where in the world it was. I still don’t know who covered the song but am trying to find out. It was recorded between 2006 and 2008 and released in Mauritius. I’m dying to hear it. In any event, these are my first international royalty checks covering one of my tunes. (My publishing company, In the Chips Production, also gets a 5% check.) I am off to change my underpants and then search some more.
In the meantime, if anyone out there finds the cover version please send me a link to the band/artist so I can buy a copy.
“Tom’s Farewell” was written for a very good friend who moved from the area many years ago. It was both a sad and happy time. The epilogue should read that Tom has moved back to the area with his wife Jane and they are able to spend half the year in the Copper Country of the beautiful U.P.
We watched and wept while the Tigers slogged through another disappointment which they mistakenly called “Baseball” last night. I guess the only great thing I can say about the season is that now I won’t have ANY reason whatsoever to watch television. That, in turn, will give me more time to catch up on my bazillion other projects. Today I am going to camp to work on the road there. Tonight I will be serenading the coyotes until I run out of go power.
Oh….I also am going to the drivers license bureau today since my mother decided to go into child labor 60 years ago.
Today I picked scads, gobs, and oodles of wild blackberries. This afternoon the jelly making process has begun but there is enough juice to make several batches of jelly and even some syrup. My hands look like I have been fighting with cats but it will all be worthwhile once they are in bottles and in the pantry for the season.
What’s left of my shredded fingers will be put to use tonight playing violin. I have some tunes that I recorded in Evart this summer that I will start learning and adding to my repertoire.
We left for the Kenton camp Saturday and took in the Trout Creek Pondfest. It was fun and well attended but a steamy 94 degrees so dancing was limited to a couple of 3/4 waltzes. The following day we went to Twin Lakes and then over to the Old Victoria Craft Fair. It was great to see many people that we haven’t been in touch with for too many years. I played one set of violin with a kindly duo who let me ’stand in’ with them. (A shout out to Paul and Cassie!) Then we completed the trip around the horn with an evening ride back home to Baraga where I am working today. It was an enjoyable two day jaunt with both wife and dog at my side. (Please excuse my pseudo misogyny!)
This morning we picked blackberries (Again!) and pressed them. We got 16 1/2 cups of pure juice (No water added.) and will be making jelly this afternoon. In the meantime I am trying to convert the landfill down in the basement back into a studio. I have let it go too long while my nose has been buried in other projects. Then it is off to Houghton to buy guitar strings and make a general nuisance of myself at the music store. 
